


MSDS for Zhang Yixing

by leen_go (cagedchaos)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Crack, M/M, not-a-real-fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-14
Updated: 2013-02-14
Packaged: 2018-10-25 09:51:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10761801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cagedchaos/pseuds/leen_go
Summary: A review of the hazards of Zhang Yixing (for all the science nerds out there).





	MSDS for Zhang Yixing

\----- BEGINNING OF DOCUMENT ----  
  
 **Material Safety Data Sheet: Zhang Yixing**  
Created: October 7, 1991 (Changsha, China)  
  
1\. PRODUCT AND COMPANY IDENTIFICATION  
 _Product Name:_ Zhang Yixing  
 _Synonyms/Generic Names:_ Lay, Yixing, Kris’ Property  
 _Product Use:_ Dancing, Singing, Bunny-hopping out of vans, Stealing Kris’ plushies, Breaking fans’ hearts  
 _Manufacturer:_ SM Entertainment, South Korea  
 _For More Information Call:_ tumblr, twitter, Youtube, Weibo, Facebook, miscellaneous fanclubs  
 _IN CASE OF EMERGENCY CALL:_ Wu, Kris Yifan (1-800-MY-YXING)  
  
2\. COMPOSITION/INFORMATION ON INGREDIENTS  
 _Weight % / Component / CAS # / Classification_ :  
100 / Chinese / EXO-M / Unicorn  
  
3\. HAZARDS IDENTIFICATION  
 _Height:_ 178 cm  
 _Weight:_ Too low  
 _Nationality:_ Chinese  
 _Current location:_ Seoul, South Korea  
 _Group:_ EXO, subgroup EXO-M  
  
4\. FIRST AID INFORMATION  
 _Inhalation:_ Inhalation of unicorn dust may result in temporary illusion of ecstasy that plummets quickly into depression or loss of consciousness. May cause coughing, wheezing, shortness of breath, uncontrollable sobbing, headache or nausea. Move casualty to fresh air and keep at rest. Get medical attention if symptoms persist.  
 _Eyes:_ Contact rapidly causes damage to logical faculties. Symptoms include watering eyes, keyboard smashing and flailing arms. In case of eye contact, rinse with plenty of water and avoid exposure to Social Media wesbsites such as tumblr, Twitter, and Youtube.  
 _Skin:_ May cause rapid loss of consciousness from contact. Extent of damage depends on duration of contact. Symptoms include euphoria. Immediately flush face with plenty of water for at least 15 minutes. Seek medical attention if victim does no reawaken within an hour.  
 _Ingestion:_ Depending on location, cannibalism may result in immediate arrest by local authorities. If ingested, seek mental/nutritional health professional to address cannibalistic tendencies.  
  
5\. FIRE-FIGHTING MEASURES  
FLAMMABLE PROPERTIES:  
 _Flash Point:_ Upper chest and abdominal regions  
 _Flash Point method_ : Lifting of shirt or removal of jacket upon dancing  
 _Autoignition Temperature:_ All  
 _Upper Flame Limit (volume % in air):_ N/A  
 _Lower Flame Limit (volume % in air):_ N/A  
 _Extinguishing Media:_ Product cannot be extinguished. Close browser window to reacquire ability to breathe. If unable to do so, hit power button on computer and crawl under bed covers. Crying may or may not aid in recovery.  
 _Special fire-fighting procedures:_ Material can react violently with water (see-through tank tops, wet hair) to worsen symptoms and cause weakness in knees.  
 _Hazardous combustion products:_ Emits unicorn sparks  
 _Unusual fire and explosion hazards_ : Material may react with Kris and cause unusual and adorable giggling from product and OTP feels from observers.  
  
6\. ACCIDENTAL RELEASE MEASURES  
 _Personal precautions:_ See section 8 for recommendations on the use of personal protective equipment. Cleanup personnel need personal protection from inhalation and skin/eye contact. Evacuate and ventilate the area. Return to area only when steady breathing has been reestablished. Any release to public environments may be subject to long-lens cameras and fainting fangirls/fanboys. Proceed with caution.  
  
7\. HANDLING AND STORAGE  
 _Normal handling:_ See section 8 for recommendations on the use of personal protective equipment. Use with adequate ventilation. Cry thoroughly after using product. Do not crowd airports where product is expected to appear with the rest of EXO(-M). Keep away from incompatible materials (see section 10 for incompatibilities).  
  
8\. EXPOSURE CONTROLS / PERSONAL PROTECTION  
 _Occupational exposure controls:_  
 _In most areas (UK, USA, CANADA, CHINA, and other parts of the world):_  
TWA = 100 airport pictures  
TLV = 50 predebut videos  
REL = 1 unicorn/day  
STEL = 5 shoulder flashes (10 minutes)  
IDLH = 375 tumblr reposts and likes/day  
(TWA: Time Weighted Average over 8 hours of work. TLV: Threshold Limit Value over 8 hours of work. REL: Recommended Exposure Limit. STEL: Short Term Exposure Limit during x minutes. IDLH: Immediately Dangerous to Life or Health.)  
 _Ventilation:_ Ensure room doors are closed to avoid awkward questions regarding screaming, swearing, crying, and pictures of a Chinese man with a unicorn horn atop his head on your computer screen. Room windows may be open slightly to allow for fresh air as required.  
 _Respiratory protection:_ Brown paper bag for potential hyperventilation occurrences.  
 _Eye protection:_ Tissues may be required upon reading angsty fanfics. 3-ply highly recommended.  
 _Skin and body protection:_ Long sleeve shirt to wipe drool.  
 _Other Recommendations:_ None, you’re screwed anyway, so enjoy the ride.  
  
9\. PHYSICAL AND CHEMICAL PROPERTIES  
 _Appearance:_ Tall, Chinese male with dimple; JPG.  
 _Physical state_ : Solid Abs  
 _Gravitation Pull:_ Draws in all (un)suspecting fangirls/fanboys  
 _pHOT:_ -∞  
 _Melting Point/Freezing Point:_ N/A  
 _Boiling Point/Range_ : N/A  
 _Flammability:_ See section 5  
 _Flash point:_ See section 5  
 _Explosive Limits:_ See section 5  
 _Vapor Pressure (at 20ºC):_ N/A  
 _Vapor Density (air =1):_ N/A  
 _Solubility_ : See Section 5  
 _Partition coefficient/n-octanol/water:_ N/A  
 _% Volatile:_ N/A  
 _Autoignition Temperature:_ See section 5  
  
10\. STABILITY AND REACTIVITY  
 _Stability:_ Stable, unlike his fans  
 _Conditions to avoid:_ Several. Combination with piano and/or guitar may result in screaming and/or fainting. Combination with Kai may result in epic dance-offs. Combination with stuffed animals may result in cuteness overload. Combination with Luhan may result in late night talks over tea. Combination with Kris may result in ‘kyaaaa’s.  
 _Incompatibility_ : Memory  
 _Hazardous decomposition products:_ Potato chips of the “Krispy Lays” variety  
 _Hazardous polymerization:_ No such thing as too many Zhang Yixings.  
  
11\. TOXICOLOGICAL INFORMATION  
 _Acute Effects:_ See section 4 for symptoms of exposure and effects. Likely routes of exposure are skin, eyes and inhalation.  
 _Target organs:_ Respiratory system, eyes and cardiovascular system.  
 _Acute Toxicity Data:_  
Zhang Yixing Lowest Published Lethal Doses (LDL/LCL)  
LDL [Man] Oral - 5 ug/kg  
LCL [Human] - Route: Inhalation; Dose: 1000 ppm/30M  
LCL [Rabbit] - Route: Inhalation; Dose: 4400 ppm/30M  
LD50 [oral, rat]; 700 mg/kg  
LC50 [rat]; 3000 (1 hour)  
 _Chronic Effects:_ Bleeding of nose, sleepless nights, poor to spectacular fanfic writing. May affect cardiovascular system. In some extreme cases, may cause cavities.  
 _Teratogenicity:_ N/A  
 _Mutagenicity:_ N/A  
 _Embryotoxicity:_ Cannot have children with product if product doesn’t know of your existence  
 _Synergistic Products/Effects:_ N/A  
  
12\. ECOLOGICAL INFORMATION  
 _Ecotoxicity (aquatic and terrestrial):_ N/A  
 _LC80 (72 hours):_ 1000 Tweets/day  
 _Persistence and Degradability:_ Persistent only if allowed comeback  
 _Bioaccumulative Potential:_ Bioaccumulates with the rest of EXO  
 _Mobility in Soil:_ N/A: uses airports  
 _Other Adverse Effects:_ Reduction in human population because fans hold unrealistically high expectations of potential partners upon repeated exposure to product.  
  
13\. DISPOSAL CONSIDERATIONS  
 _Hazardous waste_ : No  
 _Product containers:_ Cardboard box inside my house.  
  
14\. TRANSPORTATION INFORMATION  
Travels in vans with rest of EXO-M, occasionally with EXO-K. Is to be placed in the middle seat next to Kris, and preferably with stuffed animal family. Reminders may be needed to ensure product has all his belongings.  
  
15\. REGULATORY INFORMATION  
 _SMEnt. Inventory Status:_ All ingredients are listed on the SMEnt. inventory.  
 _Health Hazard:_ ERROR: VALUE TOO LARGE TO COMPUTE. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER.  
 _Fire Hazard:_ 7  
 _Reactivity:_ 2  
  
16\. OTHER INFORMATION  
 _Current Issue Date:_ February 14, 2013  
 _Previous Issue Date:_ N/A  
 _Prepared by:_ Jayci (leen-go.livejournal.com OR twitter.com/leen_go)  
 _Disclaimer:_ The information herein is not factual and is highly subjective. It is only for entertainment purposes and the creator is not responsible for any injuries that may be incurred due to exposure to product.  
  
  
\----- END OF DOCUMENT -----


End file.
